


gain and loss

by tenderwrites



Series: #stzweek [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: #stzweek, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 18:29:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14920646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenderwrites/pseuds/tenderwrites
Summary: #stzweek day 2 - pranks/sleepoverThe second and third years are all at Taichi's house for the weekend, and in the midst of celebration, Eita's mind drifts to a whole other place in the deepest throes of the night.Flashbacks and nightmares may haunt him, but it is in the period of lost sleep that he gets to see an entirely new side of himself, with Kenjirou's help.





	gain and loss

**Author's Note:**

> I wish I could have written more about the only setter in my list of Haikyuu favorites, but writer's block hit me right when I was about to type today's fic. So have this; I've always wanted to write about Eita having to pass on his official setter position to Kenjirou as well as the emotions involved. If he had reacted with such rage after losing the Preliminaries match, he would have had the same reaction at having something so treasured ripped out of his hands and him being expected to then mentor the next official setter. 
> 
> Both of them have their merits, and although they do not really get along, they are still the setters of Shiratorizawa, and that in itself is truly amazing. 
> 
> Alternatively, you can listen to this playlist and think about the heavy tensions and loss that the both of them must have felt when their honorable team lost to Karasuno, which had just risen out of the shadows to clinch back their victory: https://8tracks.com/theclumsytool/you-disappoint-me

_ #stzweek day 2 - ~~pranks~~ /sleepover  _

Pensive dark eyes peer over the hanging of a cliff and as Eita extends a wary hand towards the edge of the world, the environment around him starts to change. Its original form of being covered by shrubs, trees and abandoned buildings buried by moss shrivels into an ugly dystopian world, in which fog and unsightly mutation rule. He wants to scoff at the ridiculousness of it all, but the severity of the cold winds that sweep past his face and hair makes him think otherwise. 

Then, as if triggered by his actions, there is a pain-wrecked shout in the distance, and the surrounding wind increases in velocity. By the sheer force of it, his body is blown away like some broken tree branch affected by age. His hands slip free of the cliff’s edge before long and he tumbles, down into the abyss where darkness stretches for miles and miles. Eita wishes that he can be up on the hanging yet again, standing as if there is no danger that might befall him. 

However, before he can brace the impact of the ground hitting him, he sits up with a start, a gasp of surprise erupting from his throat. He looks around the room shrouded in shadows akin to that of the abyss, and lets out a shaky sigh. Yet another nightmare, similar to the previous nights’ ones. They all contained some sort of message Eita could never really decipher, even with Satori’s help. The aforementioned redhead is right next to him, and thankfully, he has drifted into some sort of dreamless sleep. 

The ash blonde clumsily drags the blanket which has been kicked to the bottom of his best friend’s futon over Satori’s body, and stands up to compose himself for the night. As his feet brushes against the floor, his eyes scan over the interior of the room the second and third years are in. Why did they all agree to this sleepover again? 

Right. It was Taichi’s birthday, and his closest teammates decided to rope in all of them to celebrate the joyous occasion. All Eita remembers is the rows of green liquor bottles and multiple games of some foreign shooter game, and with a feverish stumble, he heads towards the balcony. Sensing that everyone is either out cold or stuck in their own dream world, he pulls the sliding door open and steps out into the peaceful night. He decides to stand next to a scattered row of potted plants and a discarded bicycle tire, and looks out towards the night view. 

\---

_ The familiarity of the locker room greets Eita as he storms into the stuffy room, his face painting a picture of dark storm clouds that have yet to release rain. Slamming his locker open, he tosses his towel and water bottle into the compartment in frustration, his fist leaning against the metal door. Due to exertion, his chest is heaving and his mouth is wide open, taking in short puffs of breath that seem to be piercing his respiratory system.  _

_ “Starting from today, Kenjirou will replace Eita as this team’s official setter.”  _

_ A violent shudder courses through his frame and he wants, so desperately, just to cast those solemn words aside and make Washijou-sensei take those words back, all for his own selfish sake. The lingering pity in his friends’ eyes, the momentary silence in the gym, it all does not correlate to the beliefs he thought were a part of his personality.  _

_ “...Eita.” The raw and delicate voice of Satori breaks the peace of the locker room, and the ash blonde thinks, with fervour, that it does not suit him at all.  _

_ “I don’t have time for your sad theatrics, Satori.” He snaps, poison littering his every word and as Eita looks up at the scrunched up face of his best friend, angry tears pool at the sides of his eyes, his fists shaking with every passing second.  _

_ “Yes, but--”  _

_ “But what?! What else can I do to contribute to the team? I can’t even set anymore! What value do I have to Shiratorizawa? I’ve lost to Shirabu alread--” In a flash, Eita is sent backwards and he crashes to the floor, blood flying from his nose. He looks up in surprise and to his utter disbelief, there is a murderous face in front of him, but it belongs to not Satori, but a rather enraged Hayato whose shoulders are being held back by Jin. His arms and legs swing fruitlessly in Eita’s direction, and the ash blonde flinches unconsciously. _

_ “You haven’t lost to Shirabu, or to anyone, you hear me? You’re still a part of this team, and if you give up on yourself now, you’ll leave this godforsaken place with a ton of regrets. Have you forgotten your competitive spirit already?”  _

_ The bloody fist used to strike down Eita gradually stops to rest by Hayato’s side, and it serves as a concrete reminder. As soon as the tears start to stream down his face, the libero’s face contorts into one of concern and he squats down next to the ex-setter, ready to offer an apology when he suddenly stands up, unstable but his teeth are clenched in determination.  _

_ “If I can’t set, I can serve.”  _

\--- 

Eita hears the creaking of floorboards behind him, and he doesn’t bother to turn around to know who it is. There is only one person who could lose sleep in a quiet sleepover of all places, and as his eyes fixate on a lone moving cloud in the far off distance, he welcomes the second person into his personal space. 

“Can’t sleep?” He ruffles Kenjirou’s messy bed hair and the younger setter nods slightly, relaxing against the soft touches and admiring the few scores of stars that have littered themselves all over the sky during daytime, when everyone was unaware of their presence. The pit in Eita’s stomach gradually subsides, being in the presence of his partner, and he rests his head on top of the silky brown locks. 

Quiet nights when the both of them have lost sleep are usually spent with comfortable silence and warm caresses, and Eita wouldn’t have it any other way. Although Kenjirou’s eyes are half-closed, he sighs contentedly, slipping his arms under the ash blonde’s jacket to rest against the fabric of his shirt. His head bumps against Eita’s shoulders to rest on it, and the both of them sway in tune together with the occasional breeze that pull them together like opposites. 

“...Do you still blame me for taking your position?” The question almost goes unnoticed, but then Kenjirou’s whispering is meant only for the two of them. After pondering the question, Eita presses a lasting kiss to the brunette’s forehead, making him shiver and smile at the same time. 

“No. Not anymore.” They continue their slow dancing with their eyes matching and their movements sluggish, and even though the rest of the world has forgotten their presence, it is times like these that the taller of the two cherishes fiercely. Along the way, he starts humming the chorus of a song Kenjirou’s mother used to sing him to bed. Eita feels his heart growing a few sizes larger as he marvels at the elegance of the brunette’s clasped together eyelids together with pink-dusted cheeks, and this makes him feel like the most luckiest person in the world. 

The both of them are barefoot and although their clothes are wrinkled from the throes of sleep, this humid night contains the same sentiments as a miracle.  Even though the road ahead is filled with uncertainty, what with the combined hotheadedness of both him and Kenjirou and everything that comes with it, he can learn to stop for a while and take the stress off his shoulders. 

After all, what was suffering without a little bit of relaxation in between? 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Edit: On the very same day that I typed out this fic, I ended up losing sleep, so I guess you could call it fate B)


End file.
